Forgetting has it’s benefits.

A part of me wishes we still talked everyday and that we never lost touch and got mad at each other like we did. I can’t help and think of how it used to be, you made me laugh so hard and you were always there when stuff wasn’t going right for me. I was so mad at the beginning and didn’t want anything to do with you and I even said you were dead to me. But now when I think about it, it sucks that we lost each other how we did. I look at pictures and remember all the fun times we had. You kept me laughing at school and during class and the times when you came to my house and we went out and stayed up late just talking. You always used to tell me everything would come into place, and that happier times were ahead of all of us. When we walk in the hallways we always seem to catch each others eye, and it always ends up with one of us looking down and just walking away. There has been many times where I just wanted to write to you, or stop you and just talk to you…I guess I never had the nerve to do it. I used to tell you everything, before the arguments started happening. You didn’t know who I was going out with, or that my family was falling apart. Sad, because we said we would tell each other everything that was going on. Then you did find out, and you never looked at me the same way. I wish you would realize that I do miss you, and won’t ever forget all the fun we had. You were one of my bestest friends and way more then that.

I guess what I was trying to say is, I miss you.

One.

Stuff would be easier if you would forget the wrong I’ve done. You tell me to look towards the future and forget the past all the time, but it feels like you’re the one who is staying in the past. Holding grudges with me because of the past. When my time comes forget the wrong I’ve done, think of reasons why you would miss me. None of us have been perfect, far from it. But I don’t hold stuff against you, or think of stuff you have done in the past and then mention it to  you and use it as an excuse to have a distance from you. When YOU say future I look to it, and the only times I look at the past is when I’m reminded of it. I think i’ve made myself pretty clear that I have changed, and want to change even more. I have talked to people and I’ve come to the conclusion that the WORST feelings ever is feeling like you aren’t wanted and that certain people keep finding reason to pick at you  and make you feel bad about yourself. And it isn’t fair when you aren’t putting them down, and all you ever do is support them and make them feel wanted and like they are your only one. 

“Sometimes we expect more from others because we would be willing to do that much for them.”

Think about it, remember it, make it happen.