Choose between yesterday and tommorow.

September 1, 2008 at 6:21 am Leave a comment

I guess I need to learn whats important from whats not. And not waste and stress over things that aren’t even worth my time. I sometimes stress too much on things, because I think in the past and things that have happened I think I didn’t do enough to prevent them. Loss has been part of my journey, a journey I wanted to always end but never seemed to find its expiration date. At one point you just don’t even see anybody being in your life for the long run. But some have changed my mind about that. It’s pretty bad when something you always wanted seems to be taking away all your energy. I wish I could rip out a page of my memeory. But how do we reverse the chemistry? When it all began, it was as if there was no gravity. Felt like you were floating and everything bad was just beneath your feet, you didn’t even feel it. It’s just not how it used to be. I don’t know if that’s being fair or not? Like tell me if you have ever felt like one day you all of a sudden saw clearly, and maybe after all whats making you sad or confused is actually whats making you happy. Does that even make sense? Maybe, maybe not. Either way I do read a lot of your blogs, and some of you seem to be having the same feelings as me, so maybe I’m not completely a confused wreck. But sometimes I feel like I can’t even speak, like everything I say about how I feel doesn’t even make sense. And I get tired of explaining, and then I begin to wonder if there is something wrong with me. Not mentally, but see I don’t know how to explain that either. Some days I feel like everything is going smooth and happily, and then sometimes its as if nothing is going right. And I feel confused about feelings at times. I’m guessing its just a “phase” because before, I was the type of person that didn’t care about anything. Back then to me it didn’t matter whethere you stayed or left. I had a hard shell, but now at times I feel like I don’t even have that “shell” its just jello, wobbly and unstable. I don’t want to be jello anymore >:|

……………

But updates… hmm school is going ok. Getting back into the “school routine” sucks. :/ But its ok, because someone wise once said that “everything falls into place somehow. always” And to never look back, and if you decide to take a step or two back, in the end the only steps you’ll be taking are the ones to positive things. Stepping forward.

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Entry filed under: Life as I Know it.. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , .

Ew School. Not ready to make nice.

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